Monday, February 23, 2009

Control Issues?!?

Lately, I have begun to realize that there are certain things that I like to have a certain way. The dishes need to get done in a certain order, my shower routine has a certain order, I check my email, and facebook stuff in a certain order. In my mind, the way these duties get done saves time, or energy, or water. I also know that these are things I am in control of. There are a lot of things in life we have no control over. I had no control over getting laid off. I have no control over getting called to sub. I have no control over the state of CA and how they distribute unemployment insurance (a fancy word for unemployment checks!). I know this. I know I can't do anything about it. I can hope that those checks will continue forever. I can hope that all these stimulus boosts will allow me to collect free money forever, but I know that is not true. Today I realized that this will probably not happen, and in the near future my contribution to the Koontz clan fund will be severely lacking. I HATE knowing that. I HATE that I cannot do anything about it. I HATE that life, and how we are accustomed to living it, will change. Now, I face a dilemma. Do I hope that I can somehow get called to sub everyday, or do I look for a 9-5 job that I will most likely hate? This feeling of "uncontrol" is hard for me to handle. I hate that I am letting the one I love the most down. I know that trusting God is the answer, but I am finding that my control issues are making it hard to do that. That is my ramble for now...let's hope the next post is a bit more positive... ;)

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The beginning of something new...

Hi Friends and Family,

Lately, I have felt very out of touch with loved ones, and even sometimes a little lonely. This for me, is hard to admit, so I've decided to do something about it. This is leading to wanting to blog and let people in on what is going on in our lives. Maybe by writing, and sharing, I can feel more connected, in a way, to all of you! I don't really know what sort of shape this will take, but am excited to have a place where I can share, or vent, or fill you in on new things going on in our life! I don't think it will be a daily occurance by any means, but check back every now and again if you need some Koontz lovin'! I'm excited to see where this goes!

This past week or so had been hard, the icky sick bugs have hit all of us, HARD! Except for Brandon, our wonderful "roomie/brother/brother-in-law/uncle". I don't know how he manages to stay healthy, but what I have learned is that even if it seems like you're going to die there is nothing the Dr can do for you except tell you that fluids and rest are all that will get you better! And even though Leah is out of school today, she has managed to stay cute and adorable. Here is a picture of this morning that I just couldn't resist! She didn't want to distrub the cat's cat-nap, so she shared her seat with him while eating breakfast! Until next time...